


love, angst, and a body count

by katiecarothers



Category: Heathers
Genre: Heathers - Freeform, Multi, heathersmusical - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-09-17 21:19:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16981989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katiecarothers/pseuds/katiecarothers
Summary: Heather McNamara is in love with Veronica Sawyer, her crush since kindergarten. She has to choose whether to come out or chose popularity, but before she can do that, it’s interrupted by a series of death. (This is my book- which I accidentally put on orphaned mode, but i want to continue it and hope you find it!)





	1. heathers first day

Chapter One: Heather’s First Day of Senior Year  
   
”Bye, dad!” I called out as I raced out the door to my brand new yellow Jeep. Daddy had just gotten it for me. He sells engagement rings, and people think he buys my love. I don’t think they realize that my father is actually quite the character. I’ve learned much from him. He taught me how to look at a seed and see a flower- a bright yellow sunflower to be exact.   
Today however was a big day. I, the bright yellow sunflower, now had my first day of being a top-seller in the greenhouse. It was my first day of Senior year! I could not wait to meet up with my two best friends, Heather and Heather. I know, it’s a little strange that we’re all named Heather. We do have very different ways of expressing ourselves despite that. I wore yellow, Heather Chandler wore red, and Heather Duke wore green. It was our thing and I am more than okay with it. I’ll have to admit, I am afraid of what Duke or Chandler will think of my outfit, but more afraid to tell them of my crush I had been hiding the last 12 years of my life.   
Her name is Veronica. She could use a bit of a makeover, but to me she was the most elegant creature the eyes could ever look upon. Ever since kindergarten, I would smile as I watched her on the swingsets with her best friend, Martha Dunstock. I didn’t quite mind Martha, but Chandler would never let me associate with people like that. I hope that this year, maybe she’ll open up and see what I see- maybe not in Martha, but at least Veronica. If I took a meat cleaver and cut down the center of her skull, I’d have symmetrical halves. That’s very important. She also had the most amazing laugh. It was loud, almost a bit annoying to most people, but not to me. This year, I would finally speak to her.  
”Oh, Heather!” Heather Duke called out.   
I was just about to turn from the stoplight into the school. I must’ve gotten distracted while thinking about Veronica. I quickly turned on the green light and parked my Jeep next to Duke’s vehicle.   
“What’re you thinking about up in that pretty little blonde head of yours?” She asked.  
”Oh- just.. Ram Sweeney?” I replied.   
Ram was on the football team. I think this year would be his third year as linebacker. His best friend is Kurt Kelley and they’re both not the best to be around, but I sometimes use them to cover for my sexuality. If H. Chandler found out, I’d be the next person in the mean girls’ burn book.  
”Oh! I forgot you had a thing for him and Kurt.” She said.  
”Heather! Carry my books to class!” Chandler said, interrupting the conversation.  
I sighed and took her books, knowing that Duke wouldn’t do it unless Chandler made her. I knew today was going to be an exhausting day. As we walked into homeroom, I noticed a certain person standing in the corner. There she was, Veronica Sawyer. Before I knew it though, Chandlers books were on the ground and the Heathers were both screaming at me. Maybe I would wait on talking to her. After all, first time isn’t the charm? It’s normally the third. I could always try again later after cheer tryouts. Right now, I had an even bigger mess to cleanup. I know had to deal with Heather Chandler’s bitter rage, followed by Heather Dukes’ stuck up repetition


	2. the hall pass that changed her life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the beginning, where Heather McNamara thinks she may just have a chance with Veronica. They meet because of a forged hall pass, and suddenly Veronica is now one of them. McNamara’s one problem is trying not to expose her gayness for Sawyer.

Chapter Two: The Hall Pass That Changed Her Life  
“Did you see that greasy little nobody, Martha Dumptruck?” H. Chandler asked.  
“Yeah. Did you hear the football team referring to her as Martha Dumptruck: Wide Load? It was pretty genius for Kurt and Ram to try and come up with that one. Speaking of which, how are you with those two, Heather?” Duke asked.  
“Oh, just fine.” I replied.  
“Just fine?” Chandler questioned as she reapplied her bright red lipstick.  
“Whatever, Heather. I’m gonna vomit, so if you’re not gonna tell us the scoop, then you can hear my puke.” Duke replied.  
She then proceeded to lock the door, get down on her knees (which I’m sure she was very much used to doing) and slipped her fingers in her mouth. You could barely hear anything over the sounds of her stomach coming back up. Of course, this had to be the perfect moment for Miss. Fleming to walk in.  
“What are you girls doing out here?” She asked.  
“Heather was sick. We’re helping her!” Chandler replied.  
“Not without a hall pass you’re not.” She said with a greasy grin on her face.  
“Actually, Miss. Fleming- were all out on a hall pass, yearbook committee.” A voice said as they came out the stall two doors down from Heather. The door opened, and to my surprise, there she was. Veronica Sawyer stood there in a pair of baggy jeans and a light blue t-shirt. I swear she needed a major makeover at some point.  
“I see you’re all on the list. Very well, get to class.” She said.  
“This is an excellent forgery. Who are you?” Chandler asked as she took the pass from Veronica.  
“Veronica Sawyer- I crave a boone.” She said.  
“What Boone?” She said, as Duke came out of the stall.  
“Let me sit at your lunch table, just once. We don’t have to have any talking necessary, but maybe if people think you tolerate me, they’ll leave me alone.” Veronica replied.  
“You know, for someone who is a greasy little nobody, you have pretty good bone structure.” Chandler said.  
“That’s true! If I took a meat claver down the center of her skull, I’d have symmetrical halves! That’s very important!” I said.  
Heather Duke gave me a disapproving look. I quickly shut my mouth, hoping to show that I didn’t think about the structure of her face almost every day my entire life. I would end up outing myself before I was ready, so I stayed quiet and let them do the rest of the talking. It was official now. Veronica was now a Heather.


	3. and then there were three of us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather McNamara is deeply disturbed when her crush (Veronica Sawyer) gets interrupted once again by her boyfriend, JD.

“Ram Sweeney’s party is tonight.” Heather Duke said.  
“Yeah, Heather. We know.” Veronica implied.  
“What makes you not so fond of Ram?” Duke questioned.  
“I mean, I’m not too fond of anything if we’re honest. I don’t like the note you guys made me write to prank Martha. Secondly, Ram and Kurt are a bunch of perverted jerks.” Veronica said.  
“Hm. And what about you then?” Duke asked.  
“Well, I have been seeing someone.” Veronica admitted.  
“Oh, right. It’s that one goth kid that’s in one of our classes. Right? I think his name is Jason Dean.” Chandler said.  
“He’s not goth.” Veronica said.  
“Isn’t he that weirdo that’s always wearing a trench coat and hangs at the 7/11 on Sherwood Boulevard?” I asked.  
“Yeah. He’s got a deep past and-“  
I then began to drift in my mind. The last thing I wanted to hear about was this guy. I did not want to sit there and think about this guy kissing on the girl I love. Love was a strong word, but it’s not like I could avoid my feelings.  
“Sounds great.” I said.  
We then decided we should get going. We planned on playing a game of croquet at Veronica’s house.   
We would have very little time, considering JD always had a reason to pull Veronica out of the crowd. I just hope he wouldn’t take her away forever.

 

Honestly, by the time we got to the house, I already had a feeling that Jason Dean would stop by. Heather Duke was a bit busy being Heather Chandler’s slave, so Veronica and I were left to leading the game ourselves. Apparently Chandler had an emergency lipstick incident that needed treatment. I was left to taking both their turns.  
In all fairness, I hate croquet. The only reason I do it is because Duke and Chandler want to play it. Veronica on the other hand is less of a sports person, more of an intellectual type of person. Though I’m not a pro at it myself, I did manage to show Veronica some tricks.  
“Hey, you do know you don’t really hold it like that, right?” I questioned.  
“Oh.” She laughed.  
Considering the fact that her family had a setup in their yard, you would think Veronica would know something. She was completely clueless. While watching her struggle, I couldn’t help but smile. I know that sounds weird. If I’m so in love with her, why would I laugh at her struggling. It gave me a good idea- more importantly a great opportunity.  
“Here, I’ll show you.” I said, adjusting her grip as I nonchalantly slipped my free arm around her waist.  
I couldn’t help but smile. I wanted to rest my chin on her shoulder and hold her like that forever. I knew that she was most likely straight, hopefully bi, but I would never have the chance either way.  
“Oh. T-thank you.” She managed to stutter.  
It was a bit odd. I had never seen such a soft side of Veronica like this. I knew she was all about our school gaining peace and stuff- but maybe this was something else. Maybe I would have the chance. I was about to say something, right when a certain someone began to walk in through the back gate.  
“Aye, what is this? Lesbian agenda or something?” JD said in his jersey sounding accent, pulling Veronica out of my grip. He then kissed her cheek.  
“N-no.” I managed to stutter.  
At this point in time, I could feel myself sinking. I was a tiny lifeboat in the ocean. I let everyone inside of my boat and now it has reached its maximum capacity and I am beginning to sink.  
“Guess what I got?” JD asked Veronica, pulling a blue slushee from his trench coat.  
“What the f-“ Heather Duke began.  
“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Bonnie and Clyde. You guys going out for a killing spree?” Heather Chandler questioned.  
Before I could understand the rest of the situation, I began to shut down. It wasn’t necessarily a bad shut down. In fact, it was one of those times where you have a gay moment and you sit there questioning if it actually happened. I couldn’t help but smile. When I finally stopped thinking about the warmth of Veronica, I realized both her and JD were gone.  
“They’re both a bunch of b-“ Heather Duke began.  
“Guys, it’s fine. Forget it. I’m sure nothing bad sorry will happen. Why are you guys even fueding again?” I said.  
I knew everything. I knew that Chandler didn’t want Veronica with JD. I knew she refused to let Veronica tolerate people like Martha Dunstock in her life. I knew almost everything, except for how it all began. Little did I know that this was more than just a beginning, it was now an ending.


	4. another reason i hate croquet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of chapter three, where the Heathers attempt to play a game of croquet, until JD swoops Veronica away.

Honestly, by the time we got to the house, I already had a feeling that Jason Dean would stop by. Heather Duke was a bit busy being Heather Chandler’s slave, so Veronica and I were left to leading the game ourselves. Apparently Chandler had an emergency lipstick incident that needed treatment. I was left to taking both their turns.

In all fairness, I hate croquet. The only reason I do it is because Duke and Chandler want to play it. Veronica on the other hand is less of a sports person, more of an intellectual type of person. Though I’m not a pro at it myself, I did manage to show Veronica some tricks.

“Hey, you do know you don’t really hold it like that, right?” I questioned.

“Oh.” She laughed.

Considering the fact that her family had a setup in their yard, you would think Veronica would know something. She was completely clueless. While watching her struggle, I couldn’t help but smile. I know that sounds weird. If I’m so in love with her, why would I laugh at her struggling. It gave me a good idea- more importantly a great opportunity.

“Here, I’ll show you.” I said, adjusting her grip as I nonchalantly slipped my free arm around her waist.

I couldn’t help but smile. I wanted to rest my chin on her shoulder and hold her like that forever. I knew that she was most likely straight, hopefully bi, but I would never have the chance either way.

“Oh. T-thank you.” She managed to stutter.

It was a bit odd. I had never seen such a soft side of Veronica like this. I knew she was all about our school gaining peace and stuff- but maybe this was something else. Maybe I would have the chance. I was about to say something, right when a certain someone began to walk in through the back gate.

“Aye, what is this? Lesbian agenda or something?” JD said in his jersey sounding accent, pulling Veronica out of my grip. He then kissed her cheek.

“N-no.” I managed to stutter.

At this point in time, I could feel myself sinking. I was a tiny lifeboat in the ocean. I let everyone inside of my boat and now it has reached its maximum capacity and I am beginning to sink.

“Guess what I got?” JD asked Veronica, pulling a blue slushee from his trench coat.

“What the f-“ Heather Duke began.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Bonnie and Clyde. You guys going out for a killing spree?” Heather Chandler questioned.

Before I could understand the rest of the situation, I began to shut down. It wasn’t necessarily a bad shut down. In fact, it was one of those times where you have a gay moment and you sit there questioning if it actually happened. I couldn’t help but smile. When I finally stopped thinking about the warmth of Veronica, I realized both her and JD were gone.

“They’re both a bunch of b-“ Heather Duke began.

“Guys, it’s fine. Forget it. I’m sure nothing bad sorry will happen. Why are you guys even fueding again?” I said.

I knew everything. I knew that Chandler didn’t want Veronica with JD. I knew she refused to let Veronica tolerate people like Martha Dunstock in her life. I knew almost everything, except for how it all began. Little did I know that this was more than just a beginning, it was now an ending.


	5. Heathers suicide note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather is a frightened sunflower, about to wilt at any moment. Her best friend is dead. The two boys she was using to cover her sexuality? Dead as well. Her teenage angst now has a body count, and she can feel herself sinking like a lifeboat.

This is taking place of a narrative POV because McNamara obviously isn’t aware of what happened.  
•

“What about milk and orange juice? There’s an-“ Veronica began, before getting cut off by JD.

“I’m a no r-“ He said, holding up a container of drained fluid.

“Don’t be a douche. That will kill her.” Veronica said with a smile, before it quickly faded.

The look on JD’s face showed that he may or may not have been joking. Her smile was no longer lingering on her lips.

“Oh, I know! We could cook some soup!” She said to fill the awkward void.

“Forget chicken noodle, why don’t we go with big blue here?” JD said, filling a cup with drained fluid.

“She would never drink anything that looked like that anyways.” Veronica said, hoping to convince him otherwise.

“Or we could maybe cough up a flem glob or something.” She said, filling a cup with milk and orange juice.

The two then began to cough together in a joking matter. Being disgusted with their results, the couple agreed it were a no. Eventually, the two began to kiss. Before Veronica could even realize it, JD had grabbed his cup from the counter. After their kiss, the two headed to Chandler’s room.

“Morning, Heather.”

After JD’s attempts to get Heather to drink the fluid, she finally gave in. She was no chicken, she could take whatever it was that they were offering her. Less than a minute later, she began to choke. Her throat felt itchy as if she had just swallowed cactus. She could feel her air supply running low, and could only make out two words.

“CORN NUTS!” Chandler exclaimed, before falling onto the glass table.

“We’re gonna have to save our arses with this one, Veronica. Think, long and hard. Conjure her in your mind.” JD said.

“A suicide note? You think that’s gonna fool the cops? How are we going to pull that off?” Veronica said.

“Isn’t that how you became a Heather in the first place?” He asked.

Veronica knew he was right. If it weren’t for her forged yearbook committee pass, she would never have met Heather Chandler. She wouldn’t be here. She wouldn’t have met Heather Duke. She wouldn’t have meant Heather Mc-

“What would she say? What would be her final statement? Keep in mind this is address to a cold, uncaring planet.” He said.

Veronica began to write in Chandler’s elegant print. She had to make this good enough to fool the cops. After all, she had already done it with Kurt and Ram. She couldn’t believe that JD got her sucked in to another killing. Now, she was saving both of them this way.

“They couldn’t see past my rock star mystique. They wouldn’t dare look in my eyes. But just underneath was a terrified girl, who clings to her pillow and cries. My looks were just like prison bars, they left me a myriad of scars.”

She knew myriad was a good choice of words. She didn’t spell it right on her last week spelling test. Maybe it would make the cops believe her lack of good education in school would bring some part in it. It would help, if they were smart enough to figure it out. It didn’t help that she began to die of laaughter, as JD tried to help construct the note.

“My problems were myriad.” He said.

“I was having my period!” Veronica replied, bursting into laughter.

She then began to finish the letter. It was time to go back to the normal. They could not have anyone figure out what had really happened. If anyone would ask or question them, Veronica was sure that Heather McNamara would cover. She always assumed she was out having sex with JD. She wasn’t necessarily wrong, but it’s not like she needed to assume things. Veronica cut her some slack, considering she knew McNamara wouldn’t get laid for a while anyways. After all, her boyfriend killed her only two hookups.

•  
We are finally back to Gay McNamara.

“I can’t believe that Heather is gone.” I said.

Veronica did her best to avoid the situation. She let no emotions show. At the meeting Miss Fleming tried to hold, Veronica would not include herself. JD didn’t even show up, as far as I could remember.

“Right, but do you know where her red scrunchie is?” Duke questioned.

Of course, Duke was more concerned about the next Heather to wear red. I suppose she had always wanted to wear it, but Chandler would never agree it would fit her. Veronica was definitely not going to be the one to wear it, and I have learned to accept myself. I’m a sunflower. Heather Chandler was a rose and I guess we all know about the thorns she had of her own. Her thorns were her defense mechanism. Her thorns were what kept her from rotting. After this funeral service though, she would be.

I’ll have to say that the funeral was a mess. Duke was all over the casket, almost celebrating. She was praising as if the Wicked Witch of the West were dead. After reading her suicide note, I can easily say that she was no Wicked Witch, though she appeared to be.

It’s saddening, and to be fair, it’s killing me inside. My love for Veronica Sawyer will not cease. The only thing that has ceased is my best friend and the two boys I could use to cover my love for Ronnie. My angst in life was now focused on how to accept and hide my sexuality, along with how to survive. It was quite certain that I am definitely a lifeboat, and even more certain that I am the one sinking.


	6. now you’re truly a heather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the world begins to crumble, you start to realize who you truly are. It doesn’t matter how old you are- 33 or 17, you’re bound to break at some point. McNamara finally reaches her breaking point, and a certain someone is the only person who can stop her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys! I am finally posting chapter 6, and I hope this helps the storyline come together. McNamayer is the ultimate ship, and I promise they’ll get a good ending.

You know you’re truly a Heather when you feel depressed because the only two boys you could hookup with are dead. You know you’re truly a Heather when your best friend no longer pukes her guts out because she is now the most valuable Heather in the group. Her body image will not matter as much, because she is now the one thriving in life. She is now Heather Chandler. You are a Heather- more or less.

You’ll start to realize that no matter how much of a Heather you are, you don’t feel like a Heather. You feel broken. Your best friend is dead and you realize that you’re not going to be able to save her. You never saw the “me inside of me” as she would say. In times like these, you’ll do the best you can and try to get someone to help you.

“I need advice.” You speak into the landline, calling the local radio station.

The radio station started to take in calls from people all over the world because death is appearing all too quickly. Everyone is dying from suicide, and you start to realize you’re probably next.

“Alright, sweetie, what’s your name?” The radio man says. You know his name is Jeff. He’s the talkative one of the show that comes on throughout the day. Everyone knows Jeff.

“Um-Heather.” You say, quickly regretting it.

“I mean- Madonna!” You exclaim.

You think that’s stupid. You’re not a Heather. You’re not even close to Madonna. You look around your room to see your yellow bird up in her cage.

“Tweedy. My name is Tweedy.” You say confidently.

“Tweedy? Alrighty then, Tweedy. What can we help you with?” Jeff says.

“The last guy I hooked up with committed suicide because he had a gay lover. Was I not enough for him? My best friend killed herself! She was so popular, why wasn’t I there for her?” You say, almost bursting into tears.

“I’m sorry sweetie-“ Jeff begins to say, before the line begins to ring.

You give Jeff a quick “Nevermind” before hanging up the phone. You answer the other because you know exactly who it is- Duke.

“Madonna, Heather? You couldn’t think of anything better than Madonna? And cmon, Tweedy?” She speaks harshly through the phone.

“You’re right.” I say.

At this point, I give in. I refer to myself as myself, because I am all I have left. Once Veronica gets impregnated by JD or something, she’s out of your life too. Heather Duke is going to make it to Broadway or some garbage like that. You know she’s fake enough to make any role.

-

The very next day at school, I had barely made it through homeroom. Now, I had calculus. I’m not exactly sure how I made the class, but it was the one class that Veronica Sawyer also made it into. I tried my best to stay strong that day, but I couldn’t do it anymore. The guilt from Heather Chandler’s death was eating me alive. I could have stopped her, but she killed herself. Ram and Kurt are dead- apparently because no one would accept their sexuality, but that only reminds me of how no one would accept me of mine either. I ran out of class, upstairs to the bathroom, and took out a bottle of pills.

I opened the bottle and shoved the entire bottle into my mouth. I attempted to get them all to swallow and go down, but as soon as I did, Veronica rushed into the restroom. I don’t know how she knew, but she did.

She grabbed my face and attempted to get me to spit them out. Truthfully, I wanted her to grab my face and kiss me, but this was the closest I could get.

“Spit them out, Heather.” She exclaimed.

I did so, before sinking down onto the floor. I buried my head into my knees and began to weep.

She sat down next to me. We talked things over, and somehow I was no longer crying. My hands rested at either side, as well as Veronica’s. Gosh, how I wanted to hold it. I wanted to hold her hand, but it would only make matters worse. I almost decided to say “f” it, but then something happened. Veronica rested her head upon my shoulder and closed her eyes. I closed mine too, and for once in what felt to be a lifetime, I felt okay again. Things would be okay in the end. This was what it was like to truly be a Heather- even when you’re in deep crap, you’re normally there for each other- unless you’re doing your makeup, it’s totally acceptable. It felt good to be myself though. I was Heather McNamara. Little did I realize that that may always be the problem.


	7. how it feels to be a martha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Heather McNamara’s suicide attempt gets heard about, Miss. Fleming continues to try and “reunite” the school in unity. Meanwhile, Heather Duke is not so fond of McNamara’s attempt. She will do anything and everything to restore her reputation, even if it means tainting Heather’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re getting closer to the gayness. Thank you for reading.

“Really, Heather? Attempted suicide? Gosh, I guess you’ll just be whining all night, huh?” Duke taunted.

“You don’t deserve to live.” Another taunt came.

“You’re pathetic for whining.” Said another.

For once in my life, I understood what it was like to be Martha Dunstock. To be fair, she wasn’t that bad. Veronica once noted how much Martha loves the Princess Bride, she even has it memorized. It’s a bit childish, but she’s a sweet girl. The only thing that could necessarily stop us from being friends is that the Heather’s and Martha’s in society can never be united- unless you’re Heather Duke. Then, you can never be reunited. They actually used to be very good friends, but Duke doesn’t like to talk about that. We swore we couldn’t.

There had been multiple accounts where Veronica and I saw Duke searching through Chandler’s locker. She would take her red bows, or her red scrunchie, etc. Whatever Heather Chandler had, Duke wanted it. It was the curse of popularity.

To try and numb the heartache of losing our dearest Chandler, Veronica and I decided to have a sleepover. We didn’t tell Duke. We didn’t tell anyone. Duke would have killed the party, and we were sure she’d be happier getting high with the football team- at least the ones that were alive.

“So, do you actually like JD?” I asked.

“Yeah, why?” She said.

“I don’t know. It just doesn’t seam like you’re all that interested in him. Is he just your way of getting laid or something? Or would I have to wear a trench coat to get your attention?” I replied.

“Why would you need to get my attention?” She questioned.

That was it. This was the moment where I lost my straight cover. I was now an exposed gay. Without thinking, I quickly pressed my lips to Veronica for just a split moment. It was as if I had just kissed a flower, or something majestic like that. Her lips were so soft and I wish it lasted as long as it felt. Instead, I pulled away after barely a second.

She gave me a confused look. I knew that I was doomed, but I couldn’t help to place my fingers on my lips. They felt a little tingly, not like the numb feeling from when Kurt or Ram left bruises on my lips- a soft, sweet, tingly feeling. I looked up at Veronica, and she gave me a quick shrug.

“Cool.” She said.

“Cool?” I asked, confused as to what her reaction actually meant.

“You aren’t gonn-“ I began, before getting cut off by her lips being pressed to mine.

It was a bit of a more intense kiss, but definitely not harsh or full-on makeout. She was kissing me. Veronica Sawyer was actually kissing me, and I was kissing her back.

“Wait.” I said and pulled away.

“Hm?” She said, giving me that look of confusement but also showing slight intrigue.

“What about JD?” I asked.

“This is just as friends, right? He won’t know.” She said.

Suddenly, I had lost my mood. I no longer regained the feeling to be THE heather McNamara. I was now, Martha Dunstock- sweet, big heart, ready to share it all with someone. Rejected. I now fully understood why the Heathers and Martha’s could never join unity.


	8. veronica’s new life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica finally starts to realize that maybe the kiss she shared with Heather McNamara was definitely more than “just friends playing around.” The worst part of it was that she too may have felt the same, but a series of tragic events take place, stopping her from confessing her feelings.

*Veronica’s POV*

 

“JD, stop. Okay? You’re not killing anymore Heathers.” I said.

“Fine. Betty Finn? Martha? Who do you want?”  
He said, letting out a laugh.

I couldn’t quite get a grasp on the fact that he thought this was funny. How could he laugh at the thought of someone dying, especially because of him? You would think that maybe his dad’s no-good self would inspire him to do better, but it only made him worse. I suppose that’s how life works. Monkey see, monkey do, like father, like son, etc. 

“None of them. You’re not killing anymore, especially not Martha! She’s not worthy of killing. She didn’t do anything to you!” I exclaimed.

“You’re right. I don’t have to, Veronica. She already tried to kill herself. She already tried to jump off the old mill bridge. You’re so, so, right.” He said, almost sarcastically.

I couldn’t help but give him a look of shock, fear almost. I almost pitied him as well. I could never quite tell if I fell in love with him for his charming looks or his sarcasm, which I took as funny instead. 

“Besides. If I kill Martha, I’m killing everyone else.” He said.

“And by that you mean what?” I questioned, slightly afraid of what his response would be.

“You’re going to be my accomplice.” He said.

“H-how?” I managed to stutter.

I could hear the echoes in my head, singing the tunes of Heather, Kurt, and Ram. 

“You’re truly a Heather. Smell how gangsta you are.” I heard them sing.

God, this is what I was most afraid of. I wanted to apologize to Martha. I wanted to say I was sorry to her. I wanted to say sorry to Heather McNamara for shutting her down. She’s probably never been rejected before, but I never told her that the kiss we shared meant more. Now I’m caught between love, angst, and a body count that seams to only go up.

Still, I heard the not-so-melodic tune of Chandler, Kurt, and Ram. It was as if they were telling me that I finally earned Heather Chandler’s red scrunched- telling me to join her in hell.

 

I decided to leave. I was not going to stick around with JD making his demonic schemes become more of my problems. Truly, his body count should have never been mine in the first place. None of this should have involved me, more specifically took place at all. I went home, which was more or less a good idea.

-

“Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick! Your friend JD stopped by! He told us everything.” My mother exclaimed.

“E-everything?” I said. 

JD wouldn’t tell anyone about the murder, would he? Was this his way of scaring me? It was most likely a way to torture me, but still I shrunk back in fear. 

“Your depression? Your thoughts of suicide?” My father said.

“He even showed us your copy of Moby Dick.” My mother interrupted.

My mother begged me to talk to her. She even tried to play the “Ive experienced everything you’re going through” card on me. However, her best friend did not attempt suicide because I was almost raped by the guy she likes. Then, I killed them. Also, I killed my other best friend too. Besides all of that, the icing on the cake was that my boyfriend is trying to destroy the entire school, and he’s probably going to break into our house any minute now. What was she going to say? She couldn’t tell me “It’s just part of being a teenager, that’s all.” She couldn’t tell me “we’ve all been through that.” It doesn’t work like that. Teenagers should feel love. Teenagers should question theirs sexuality and love interests. Teenagers get angst and anxiety. Teenagers shouldn’t have a body count.

For once, it felt as if Heather’s echoes were starting to sound quite beautiful. Her haunting voice reminded me that JD WOULD be here any second. He would try to do something. I just knew it. So, I ran from my mothers lecture. I couldn’t bare to listen to this crap anymore. She really didn’t know what I was going through. It’s not your everyday teenage lifestyle.

“You don’t know what my world looks like!” I yelled before running up to my room.

“Knock knock. Sorry to come in through the window- dreadful etiquette, I know.” JD said.

“Get out of my house!” I yelled.

It was in that moment I really regretted not choosing Heather McNamara. I should’ve told her how I felt from the start, but it wasn’t like that now. Now, I had to save her life- and everyone else at Westerburg’s.


	9. 9. jd’s final bell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, we see McNamara being surprised to see Veronica confess what she had been longing to hear.

“You look like hell.” Duke said as she watched Veronica approach her.

She was right. She looked as if Satan burned her himself, but she looked a bit confident. It was a different approach to see Veronica in. 

“I just got back.” She said, cupping Duke’s face and kisses her lightly. She then took Heather Chandler’s red hair accessory from Duke’s hair and put it in her own hair.

“Listen up, folks. The war is over. A brand new sherrifs come to town.” She began.

She wanted to ask Martha Dunstock to be her friend again. Not only that, but she approached me after that. I’m sure that Martha was on Jiffy Pop detail with Veronica, and they would watch the Princess Bride together, but I was shocked to hear that they were going to Pep Rally together.  
Apparently, her date kinda- blew her off.

“Heather...” She began, looking down nervously as she played with her smoky black hands. 

“Veronica, I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.” I said.

“And I love you. Okay? I’m sorry that I didn’t love you before, maybe I always have. Maybe we’re meant to be soul mates or something, but I love you too.” She said.

I was no longer yellow in that moment. I could feel my cheeks, heated, burning with pink and red shades like roses. I was red. I was bold, overcoming, confident. Veronica was too. For one time this year, I felt like my life didn’t revolve around love, angst, and a body account. It was all love now.

With that being said, I took things into my own matter. I cupped Veronica’s face and kissed her ever so softly. She kissed back, almost wrapping her arms around my waist while doing so, but she stopped.

“I wouldn’t want to ruin your outfit, yellow. Black is kind of an off color for you.” She said with a smile.

“Oh yeah? Since when do you wear red then?” I giggled before wrapping my arms around her neck. She wrapped her arms around my waist this time and kissed me, this time a bit more passionate. 

It was the war to end all wars. I didn’t know if things would always be this way, but I hoped for the best. We’re all red now. We’re the newly improved Heather Chandler. It was Heaven now, because that was the only place that the Heathers and Martha’s could unite together. It was love.


	10. here we are- last day of senior year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> May 26, 1990  
> Dear Diary,  
> I believe I’m a good Heather. You know? I believe McNamara is the sunshine of all Heathers. But- here we are, last day of senior year, and uh, I’m graduating tonight and I’m about to define the odds and ask the girl I love to marry me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, chief. I am finally ending this book- mainly because I cannot keep up with it. I am a very busy 16 year old but also, how can I improve McNamayer any further after this? This chapter takes place in McNamara’s point of view. It’s going to (hopefully) be a more lengthy chapter for the sake of “I Ship McNamayer too much and need this ship to be very detailed.” Also, if you’re reading this close to when it is first published, it will most likely have lots of errors due to the fact that I have gotten my nails done for the first time and it is AWFUL to type like this. I will improve later, I hope I don’t make any major errors- but feel free to let me know if you notice anything? Thank you! -кαтιє

“Heather- you’re not telling me that you have a ring to propose to that greasy little nobody.” Duke said as she saw me pull out the little black box from my makeup bag.

I hadn’t spoke to her in a while- ever since JD’s passing. I didn’t want to either, knowing her feelings on the LGBTQ+ community. I wanted to avoid her at all costs, but it just so happened to be her time to puke her guts out when I was fixing my lipstick.

Tonight was the big night. I was going to propose to- 

“Veronica?” Duke asked as the door opened.

I quickly shoved the box into my bag and zipped it up. It was the first time in months and hopefully the last time in history that all of us “Heathers” would be United. It would be the last time we all looked into the mirrors together. It would be the last time Westerburg would ever know us as one- for once and for all.

”Hi, sweetheart!” I said when I saw Veronica.

She blushed so hard it was as if she matched Chandler’s scrunchie. She looked so beautiful. She always did.

”Hi! What are you doing in here? With.. Heather?” She asked awkwardly.

”Actually, she was showing me the-“ Duke began.

”I was showing her my new skirt! See? It’s reallt short and yellow!” I said, hoping to sound as cheerful as possible, without giving a sign of nervousness or anything to blow my cover.

”Right.” Veronica replied.

”I was! Right Duke?” I said with the most begging smile I could give.

She nodded before exiting the bathroom. Even as a witch- Heather Duke was vulnerable in the one area she no longer had. She didn’t have friends anymore, nothing but a few Freshmen pricks they sometimes referred to as the plastics, and I was the only real friend she ever had, despite Veronica.

”So. Are you going to tell me what’s really going on?” Veronica asked.

”Blue. There is nothing going on. I promise.” I said, wrapping my arms around her neck.

Although she sometimes wore Heather’s red scrunchie on her wrist, I had began to call her blue. She somehow knew how to cool down all the tension from a fiery hot flame to a cool blue sensation, which inspired me to give her the nickname.

”Fine. But, uh, I didn’t get a kiss today.” She said, wrapping her arms around my waist.

I couldn’t help but smile and peck her lips. She pecked my lips back before pulling me in closer.

”I love you.” I said as I mumbled through the now passionate kiss.

”I love you too.” She replied, giving me back a final kiss.

”But we need to get to graduation rehersal? I would just have sex with you in the bathroom, but I kinda wanna graduate.” She added before bursting into her Veronica laugh.

”Sadly, you’re right, Blue.” I laughed, taking her hand & pulling her into the gymnasium.

-

 

“And now, I would like to welcome a special guest speaker to give a prepared speech. Heather struggled this year. She lost her best friend, boyfriend, classmates, and even parts of herself this year. However, we have been able to see Heather’s behavior change drastically these past few months. I’ve asked her to present a speech as to how she has gotten through this year. Without further ado, I would like to present Heather McNamara.” Miss. Fleming said.

Everyone knew her speech was phony- Miss Fleming did not care too much about the student body. When I asked her if I could give a speech at the graduation ceremony, she agreed only if I allowed it to be broadcasted. I figured, why not propose in front of everyone?

”Hi! I’m Heather McNamara. I’m 17 years old and I am honestly scared to death about being up here.” I spoke into the microphone.

I heard a little whisper down the line behind me. It was a voice I knew all too well- the only voice who could stop such a little lifeboat from drowning. It was Veronica.

”It’s okay, princess..” I heard before getting all smiley on stage. I know felt a bit more confident. 

“Um. So, I would like to start off with a little entry from my diary. May 26th, 1990- Dear Diary...  
I believe I’m a good Heather. You know? I believe McNamara is the sunshine of all Heathers. But- here we are, last day of senior year, and uh, I’m graduating tonight and I’m about to define the odds and ask the girl I love to marry me? Now.. let me just say, she has no idea I’m going to do this. Well, I guess she does now and this speech really isn’t well Prepared but when I heard that girls whisper a few seconds ago telling me to be okay, I fell in love with her all over again. The only reason I am here after all of this is because she taught me that I am more than a tiny life vessel, I am the titanic but I don’t have to sink. I am a bomb but I don’t have to go off- that’s a bad choice of words, really, but.. Jesus Christ, Heather Chandler would tell me to stop being a wuss and to quit sounding like air supply. Veronica Sawyer, will you marry me?” I said into the microphone.

Happily, Veronica ran across the stage and hugged me tight as could be. 

“Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes.” She said, hugging me tightly and almost tripping on my gown.

I laughed and hugged her back, happy that I had managed to get the entire audience to clap. 

“Yes! Those are our dead gay sons classmates up there!” I could hear Kurt and Ram’s fathers’ screaming from the audience. 

Suddenly, Veronica pulled away from me. 

“We kinda gotta graduate now.” Veronica said with a smile.

”Right. Right. Thank you Miss Fleming!” I screamed into the microphone before getting back in line with veronica.

If there was one thing I learned in all of high school, it was that you don’t have to let it define you. Veronica Sawyer taught me that. She taught me that love overcomes angst and a body count. She taught me I could change the definition of a Heather. She taught me how to look at a seed and see a flower.


End file.
